Welcome to Six Sentence Sunday:
Where writers share six sentences from their published or unpublished books.
In this snippet from my debut romantic suspense, BENEATH THE SURFACE, Brooke has just
witnessed her best friend’s boat explode. What would you do? How would you
react?
On shaking legs, she
ran to the end of the pier and snatched the emergency life preserver ring. She headed
to the edge of the pier amidst a shower of tiny red embers and whispered a
heartfelt prayer.
Please be alive.
“Whoa. Let’s take a skiff.” Running footsteps vibrated the
dock and she turned as a gray-bearded fisherman grabbed her elbow and pulled
her away
from the ledge.
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15 comments:
I love this snippet because it shows Brooke's concern for her friends. If I witnessed that, I would be in shock and likely jump in the water to help if I could.
Hi Grace,
Thanks so much for stopping by, Grace. I have a feeling you're right--you'd be there for your friends no matter what.
Happy Memorial Day weekend! xxoo
I like that she's scared but trying to help despite that -- great six.
Had to repost my comment because of all the typos. The perfectionist in me couldn't leave it the way it was.
Anyhoo....
It says a lot about Brooke's character that she wants to help even though she's terrified. You do a good job of getting your reader to identify with and like her.
I really enjoyed the intensity of your six. Very nice job.
Great characterization; shows her bravery!
Great description, from the visual of the embers to the vibration of the dock from the running fisherman
This is a great piece of writing. Really impressive scene setting. :)
Terrific six! I love the detail about the embers, very nice!
Wow, the tension really comes through here! Great six!
@Donna-Thanks for noticing how scared she was, but still willing to help!
@Tonya-I'm the same way about typos, LOL. Thanks very much for saying it's easy for reader to relate to Brooke.
@Jess-Variety is the spice of life, right? LOL. Thanks for stopping by.
@Laura-Hey!! Thanks for noticing Brooke's bravery. :)
Brilliantly written, Joya. Her terror, her bravery, the sensations all around were expertly conveyed. Well done.
There's a tense moment happening here. And, I bet Brooke isn't too happy this fisherman intruded in her rescue.
Kate-Brooke thanks you for calling her brave, LOL. :)
@Angela-Glad you enjoyed the embers and shaking dock. Thanks! :)
@A.S.-Thanks! So glad you enjoyed the setting details.
@Daezarkin-Hot embers, for sure! Thanks. :)
@Paula-Glad you felt the tension.
@Wildcats Wife-You're so right about that! LOL. She doesn't like the fisherman interfering. (But she DOES need his help.) :)
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